Deep Thoughts with Raylen Smith

Every now and again I get a moment of clarity. A moment that defines all others and brings everything else into perspective. I had one of those moments today.

As you know, I wrecked my car last week and while we've been waiting to go buy a new car, I have been driving a borrowed early model Dodge truck. It has a pseudo back seat, but Ray's car seat doesn't fit back there, so she rides next to me in the front. It's been kind of fun because she likes holding my hand and we sing songs and she talks...alot. This morning on the way to church was no different. For whatever reason, during one of her stories she said "Mommy, you are my mommy and nobody else's right?" I said "yes, just yours." Then she said, "And you're always going to be my mommy and not leave and be someone else's mommy?" I wanted to cry! I told her no, I would never leave her and I would always be her mommy and that God had given her to me and me to her and no one can undo what God has done. She was satisfied and went on to talk about one of her friends from church, but I was left thinking.

From time to time, things like this come up in conversation with Raylen. I call her my Forever Girl during the day and she smiles. She deals with emotions that most children don't. She remembers the day that we became a forever family. She knows that she didn't always live with us or that she didn't grow in my tummy. As much as we celebrate those things, her questions today reminded me that there is a flip side to her emotions that leave her unsure of what comes next given the shakiness of her start in life. Thinking about my four year old daughter's deep well of emotions left me feeling even more grateful and proud to be her mommy. I honestly can't think of a greater privelage in this world than to be able to look at a child and promise them that you will always be their parent and being able to literally see security fill their eyes.

As usual, I drifted off thinking of all the children not as fortunate as Raylen who still wait day after day praying for a forever family. They don't have anyone to reassure them that their forever is secure. May I take another opportunity to ask you to turn their future around? You have the privelage and the responsibility of giving these little lives security. I know it's scary and difficult and you may not even know where to start. But, think right now about where you would be without the person or people in your life that gave you your future. Can and would you deny that same blessing to these that beg for it in their hearts? As I've said before, PLEASE pray and consider your role in adoption! EVERYONE has a part! Parents, financers, prayer partners and supporters all have equal roles to fill. I can tell you from personal experience that there is NOTHING in my life that has ever measured up to Jason and I laying down our pride and fears and opening our hearts to Raylen. We were imperfect before her and are imperfect even now, but a miracle happened to us the moment we met her and I am convinced that you can experience that miracle too. You can be somebody's forever.