The I'll Nevers and the God Who Blows Them Out of the Water

During the years of 1999 through 2009, I said on countless occasions that I would NEVER move back to Abilene.  Having spent a year and a half in an Abilene university and snagging the man of my dreams for a husband, I was quite content to live out what I knew-busy city life in a huge metroplex.  And that's just what we did.  We lived close to my family, made family-like friends and enjoyed the fun of living in a city where there is always something to do.  Then, in the summer of 2009, God lit a spark of possibility that we should infact, move to Abilene.  Sigh.  I left my family, my dear friends, my huge shopping mall and green grass and trees and we followed where He led.  And it has been, for the most part, glorious!

I find that I make these I'll Never statements more frequently then I care to admit.  Like, 'I'll never yell at my kids" or "I'll never let my kids eat chicken nuggets in the backseat while watching a movie when we are only going to Walmart simply because I need the peace and quiet".  Clearly, the me who said those things hadn't met the me that lived out the opposite.  Whether in big or small things, I have ideas about how life is supposed to go for myself and nine times out of ten, those ideas are in direct conflict with the heart of God for me.

Jason and I have always said that we would NEVER foster children, just for the sake of fostering.  Once we started adopting, our intent has been to join children to our forever family.  We knew that we could never allow a child to come into our home and then watch them leave one day.  Nope, fostering was too risky.  We very carefully allowed ourselves to obey when we were called to receive our youngest daughter last year through the Foster system.  We were comforted that her situation seemed ideal for adoption, but in the system, nothing is guaranteed.  Our worst fears were realized when early on things seem to go off track for us to adopt her.  Still, God has been faithful to His promises, even amidst my fears and anxiousness.  Last week, she officially crossed over from a foster placement to an adoptive placement and we are looking forward to her adoption finalization in the next few months.  Whew!  We made it through that!  Now, we thought, we'll NEVER do fostering again until we are done adding to our family.

Enter again, the God who likes to blow my I'll Nevers out of the water.  Through a series of events, He has brought us in relationship to a two year old little boy who needs a foster home.  My strong, keeps-his-emotions-under-wraps hubby, melted at the first meeting of this little guy.  And the little spark from the heart of God started again in our hearts.  Would you share your home with this little boy, even for a short time, if I ask you to? I'd like to say that immediately we jumped up and down, thrilled to our core to obey, but we are a bit more like our children at times.  Obedience doesn't often come easily or with a smile on our faces.  We prayed and weighed and asked and thought.  We crunched numbers and analyzed our kids and at the end of the day, we faced the real question.  Is there anything that is too much for us to do if God Himself asks us to do it? 

I often think of Mother Theresa. I'm not Catholic, but I think for our culture, Mother Theresa represents an unattainable, sacrificial living for others.  This dear woman, compelled by the love that she had been given from God, gave up her creature comforts and worldly desires to serve the lowest of the low in places most of us dare not go.  I think of her and resolve that I certainly could not do what she did.  Thankfully, I don't think God is asking me to, but her life begs the same question.  Is there anything that is too much for me to do if God Himself asks me to do it?  I think if Mother Theresa could answer for herself, she would say that how she lived her life was but a small offering in return of what she had received.  Her sacrifice, so large to us, pails in comparison to the sacrifice her Savior had made for her.

The same is true for us.  I have been Redeemed.  Rescued.  Bought with a price.  Given freedom beyond my comprehension.  Is there not a way that I can offer a warm bed to a child in need though my heart and my comfort be put on the line? And with that, we are doing something we said we'd never do--we are becoming Foster parents without a scope for adoption.  As the days get closer for him to join us, we are getting more and more giddy!  That's what Jesus does.  He gives you the opportunity to follow Him in adventure and then let's you have the butterflies of excitement along the way like you're on your very first amusement park ride.  Honestly, following after Him is getting pretty addictive.

Our new boy will be here November 4th and we are busy about sharing the news with our family and the people we do life with and preparing our home for his arrival.  It's a fun and crazy time.  As we share the news, there is sometimes applause that comes from people thrilled by what we're doing.  But, those applause are not for us.  We're not the stars.  This is about Jesus.  He's the star of this show.  This has been His idea from the beginning.  It was He that brought a bouncy blonde toddler to us seven and a half years ago.  It was He that delivered a three day old miracle to our literal doorstep last year.  And it is He that has sewn a love in our hearts for a boy so polar opposite of us that we aren't able to contain ourselves.  He gets the applause.  He has rescued us-- now, we make MUCH of Him.