Adoption Journey Journal II

Hello again....

We have had an eventful weekend and wanted to share the developments with
you. First, let me say to everyone, thank you for praying for us and
supporting us the way you are. All of the calls and emails have been so
encouraging to us and continue to encourage us as we press on in this
journey.

We were finally able to meet the most beautiful little princess in the
world, Deziray, on Friday of this past weekend. We immediately bonded and
she sat with me the whole time. We were ready to pack her up and bring her
home right then! We made plans with her aunt and uncle to take her on
Fourth of July and introduce her to our families. So, we picked her up at
9 am on Fourth of July and began our day...and our adventure!

We drove to Mingus which is about an hour and a half away from Ft. Worth,
to meet Jason's family who had driven half way from Abilene for lunch. The
visit was great. Deziray had a great time playing with Madisyn, our four
year old niece and she wore herself completely out and slept all the way
home. Later that day we went to my mom's house and she met most of my
mom's family there. She was pretty tired by then, but she still ran around
the place like she owned it! After all of that, we went to a parking lot
and watched fireworks with her and finally put her to bed late that night.
She was exhausted and now so are we! But as Jason put it, it's the best
exhaustion we have ever felt.

So to date, we are waiting for our letter, the "All about us" scrapbook I
put together and the letter that Deziray's aunt and current caregiver wrote
to reach her birth dad. We found out last weekend that he is being
transitioned from his current facility and can have no visitors right now.
Hopefully, he will read the letters and contact us soon so that we can know
where he stands. We continue to pray for his heart to be open to us and
this option so that we don't have to pursue this in court. If he doesn't
respond fondly to the idea, then we will contact the birth mother again and
try that route. Our attorney has told us in no uncertain terms that this
case is definitely winnable, but it will cost a lot of money. In fact, her
firm requires a $10,000.00 retainer before they will begin representing us
officially. We have thought about looking for other attorneys but she is
the best in Texas and we feel comfortable staying with her at this point.

If we do have to go to court, we will need to have as much time saved up
with Deziray actually living with us as possible. So with that said, we
hope to bring her home in the next couple of weeks which we are so excited
about. Of course there are so many things that need to be done, but it is
a joy to do them. My friend gave us some adorable clothes to start her off
with and a crib, which is such a blessing that we don't have to buy!
(Thanks, Jennie!) Her aunt has some antique furniture belonging to one of
Deziray's great grandmothers which she would like her to grow up with so we
will have a whole suite for her.

Right now, we are on cloud nine! We love her so much and can't wait for
her to be truly ours. Please continue to pray that God will miraculously
move in this situation and have HIS way.

I was sharing with a friend the other day and reflecting on what God has
been doing with us for the past almost eight years of our marriage. It has
been a rough road. Marriage can be rough, life can be rough and things
never seem to go the way you planned. I never would have guessed the day
we were married that we would have had a problem starting a family and
through the past 7 1/2 years I have wondered many times and cried many
times over the "why me's". But, I was reminded about a year ago through a
failed attempt to adopt an unborn baby, that God has not forgotten us.
Remember when the Hebrews were slaves to the Egyptians in the Old Testament
and as far as they were concerned they would probably be slaves the rest of
their lives? God revealed Himself to Moses to lead them out of that
slavery into a promise that He would give them. So, here they go..all of
the children of Israel FINALLY get out of there and while they are waiting
around to go to this promised place they start doubting that they are even
going! They doubt God that He is with them or sees them and then they turn
on each other and eventually build an idol to worship because they think
God has forgotten them. Wow. How could they have forgotten that it was
His idea in the first place to bring them out of slavery and give them the
gift in the first place? But, isn't that the way it goes for us too? I
know for Jason and I it is. The years of infertility and worse yet,
childlessness, have proven to be our desert. It's easy to get caught up in
the why me's and think that God has forgotten us. But in our hearts we
KNOW He hasn't. How could He? He led us here and has promised us only
good things to prosper us. I am grateful for these years that I have been
sad and fearful and hopeless...in those feelings and in my sin that seems
to creep up when you doubt God, I have grown so much and truly tested what
I know to be true about God. And you may be thinking that this sounds
great for a girl who now thinks that she will finally be a mother. No. I
am not blind to the chance that this will end up just a dream and that she
won't be ours forever. But the beauty in that is that God is still
remembering us. Even through that. He knows when we are about to die of
hunger and He sends us manna from Heaven. My prayer for you is that you
can know too that God hasn't forgotten you in your desert. Wherever it is.
He sees you and He knows you and more importantly He loves you and can't
wait to lead you into His promise. I am trusting that for me and for you.

I apologize for all my long emails. You know me as a very long winded
person! : ) But thank you for sharing this experience with us and for
holding us up. The THREE of us are eternally grateful.