Lessons From A Giggle

The other day my sweet girl was doubled over in giggles about something and her little laugh caught me. I say "little" and yet her laugh is anything but. It is very big, actually and it is usually very loud as well. A lot of the time it comes in places where loud laughter is not welcome and I find myself trying to hush it. But, that day, it reminded me of a sound I had heard a few years before I even knew about her.

One evening in 2003, a group of ladies from my church/work came over for a Bible study. As most lady's Bible studies go, we ended up talking about the things weighing heavy on our hearts. At that time, the desire to have children and be a mother was top on the list. I didn't always handle it well, but that desire consumed my every moment. At the end of the evening, someone offered to pray for me, not so much to get pregnant, but for that desire to be filled. While she was praying the strangest thing happened. I heard laughter. Loud, contagious, fill-up the room kind of laughter from a child. I remember telling my friends when the prayer was over what I had heard and we all trusted that was a sign from the Lord that He would indeed give me the desire of my heart.

I had completely forgotten about that night these seven years later. Between "don't touch that" and weekly trips to the grocery and ballet, promises from the Lord in the form of laughter kind of slipped through the cracks. Until the other day, however.

When I heard my sweet one's laugh this time the Lord reminded me that SHE is the answer to that very prayer that night. He had put the sweet song of her giggle in my ears to hang onto until the exact moment she was to arrive.

Lately, I've felt defeated. LOTS and LOTS has been going on since I last posted and most of it is on the sad side. I don't have the energy to talk about alot of it now, but one of the areas I've felt defeated in was with my little girl. I've noticed that in our little world there are two groups of people: Those who "get" her and those who don't. There's really no rational for why certain people fall into either group, they are just there. The people who get her, really get her and cherish each aspect of her personality for the gold that it is. The people who don't get her can't see passed her demonstrative, live out loud exterior and see her heart of gold with a wild imagination. This group often labels her with "hyper", "wild", "immature" and other words I don't care for. The fact that the second group exists at all saddens me because I get her totally. That's when I remember that these two group exists for me as well. Not everyone gets me either and at 31, I've learned to almost completely not care about that group. As a mother though, I want to shelter her from any group that may not simply delight in the joy that God has made her to be.

Ultimately, I know this: The giggles and laughs of every child have rung in the ears of the Father since before time. He loves each one whether quiet and soft, loud and robust, silly and quick or without sound at all. He has a purpose, a unique destiny on each of their heads and it is our job-no our PRIVILEGE- to get to foster their little lives toward that destiny.

As I write this I am drawing a line in the sand of my own heart. I'm going to stop caring that anyone has a negative thought about my little sweetheart or me for that matter. I'm going to live in light of the fact that God sees the heart and the eternal destiny of each one of us and walk in confidence that He will bring that destiny to completion for our daughter and for me. I'm going to rededicate myself to seeing the true good in everyone, especially children-especially the non-quiet, non-compliant children of our world. These are the world shakers, you know. The wild hearts that the Lord uses for His glory and purpose. I want to be a witness to that especially in the life of my daughter. I'm going to stop being controlled by the world's standards and walk confidently in the standards of my Savior.