Support in the Prep

One of the things I am very passionate about when it comes to adoption is a strong support system for each family.  Unlike a usual pregnancy, adoptions most often take more than a year to complete and some go well beyond that.  Aside from the piles of paperwork and the training time specific to each style adoption, there is very often little to know preparation time for the new child.  In our technology driven world where pregnant mothers can know the gender of their child, see their actual facial features before birth and schedule their delivery dates, the adoptive parent rarely knows any of this including the specific age of their child.

One of the main reasons it is so important for an adoptive family to have a strong support system around them is because of the general unknowing of it all.  Aside from offering support with the ups and downs emotionally, the financial commitment and the toll on marriages and siblings, supporters can take much of the stress off of a family by helping with the preparations for the new arrival.  Here's some ideas how support in the prep might look:

• Offer to help paint and/or set up the nursery/bedroom.  Many times an adoptive family is so engulfed in the details of paperwork that the "fun stuff" can be pushed to the side or left to an inconvenient time--like the day the child is coming! For a family hoping for an infant especially after struggling with infertility, a supporter who offers to help with preparation of the nursery helps to make the process seem more real for the family and helps to simulate the traditional idea of nesting for expectant moms.  For families adopting toddlers and older, an inviting room is an important way to welcome that child and make them feel at home.  It helps to reduce fears and bond them in their new home.
• Throw a party!  Everyone loves a party and adoptive families are no different!  Brides and expectant moms everywhere are usually showered with fun parties and gifts.  Supporters can offer this same gift to adoptive parents that actually addresses two important needs: Gifts help the family afford all of the new items needed for the child and it also shows a huge measure of support to have friends and family celebrating the new arrival with the family. 
• Don't underestimate the value of your excitement shared with an adoptive family. While outsiders can't see with their eyes the transformation growing within the family, make no mistake, there is a transformation happening!  Similar to a pregnant mother, an adoptive mother often finds herself preoccupied and day dreaming of the new family member.  And like most expectant fathers, adoptive dads are usually silently weighing their fears and responsibilities that come with this change.  Supporters shouldn't be afraid to call or ask the family frequently how things are going or for updates on their progress.  As much as possible, an adoptive family wants to know that their loved ones are excited with them and care about the huge change that is happening to their family.

We are very fortunate to have an amazing group of supporters that have and continue to take such good care of us during this process.  Here are some ways they helped us with the preparation for our little bundle.

 My mom came the day after our licensing was completed and worked LONG hours making the nursery bedding.

 My wonderful friends from our lifegroup were so generous to throw us a beautiful vintage inspired baby shower. It was perfect! I had such a fun time!

 After we got our baby, my forever friends from my hometown got together for afternoon sip and see.  My mom made delicious treats and my BFF Christie hosted us in her home and organized an enormous gift basket of goodies from several friends.  I can't show a lot of photos because the baby is in them, but here I am in a Christi(e) sandwich!

While we were visiting my hometown, we visited my aunt and uncle and three of my cousins were able to come meet M&M.  Again, can't show alot of pics, but here's my cousin Emily chowing down at the party :) 

There are SO many other ways that we were supported during our prep for baby that I don't have photos for.  Countless times we were prayed over, called, hugged and encouraged.  One of the major ways came when got the call for our baby just one day after starting the process to replace the tile ALL through our house!  Mighty men from our lifegroup and beyond dedicated many hours and backbreaking labor to finish our floors in record time.  We couldn't have made it without them!

Thanks to everyone who is in our beloved support system.  We are so grateful for your presence in our life!!!