Adoption Journey Journal X!

Hello everybody,

I wanted to update you with the outcome of the homestudies. Both went
extremely well. Last Monday was the first which was with the social worker
assigned to interview Jason and I and see Raylen in her environment. We
were really relieved to see her when she came because she was a very sweet
and loving grandmother type that made herself at home and put us at ease.
She talked with just Jason and I for a while and then toured our home and
visited with us informally while Raylen played with us. She was verygracious about us as a family and she said she didn't see any reason to not
recommend us as parents for Raylen. We were very relieved. And last night
was the second home study. It went very well as well. A little shorter
and different than the last, but we actually got more information from the
lady that came because she is actually an attorney for Raylen. She said
that after reviewing the entire case, she doesn't see anything as a problem
for this to go through and she confirmed to us that we have the best
attorney in the state. She said actually that our attorney is one of the
top 5 adoption attorneys in the country. That's amazing to me.

While we visited with her last night, we told her most of our story from
the time we heard about Raylen. Each time we tell it, it becomes more and
more amazing to me. One thing in particular that I said last night rang in
my ears as though I didn't say it, but needed to hear it instead. The
words were "We have not had to manipulate a thing to make this happen.
Every door has opened and encouraged us to keep moving forward." I have
thought about that all last night and this morning. Those words are exactly
true. I can think of times in my life where I wanted something to happen
or wanted something and I will play tricks with myself trying to make
things seem like the right thing or rearrange things so that something
would work out. Nothing ever turns out the way that I really wanted it to
and I miss the joy and peace of knowing that I didn't make it happen. For
several years through our journey, one thing became evident to us. We
wanted to know and it be clearly evident to all when we finally had a
family that it was all God's doing. We turned away from so many options
because it gave us too much control in the situation. We wanted God to do
this and Him only. And so He has. Very clearly for all to see. Not Jenn
working her "magic" to make things fall in line. Not us having to be
someone other than who we are. All of it in His timing and certainly not
ours. Every last detail His design. The most amazing part of all? God
does this all while we still struggle with all of the human shortcomings we
always have. Emotions, struggles, sin. Chains we attempt to lay down time
and again keep picking them back up along the way. God didn't wait for us
to be rid of all of those things to bless us. He has done it right now in
the midst of those issues and once again shown His great love to us. It
reminds me of Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrated His own love for us in that
while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Wow. While we were
still sinning, He laid everything on the line for us. That's so humbling
for me.

You know, while I am on this particular journey and sharing it with you, I
feel so compelled to share all of me and the thoughts and emotions I am
having. I am not sure why other than maybe in some small way now or in the
future it might serve to encourage you. I am not perfect in any way. My
immediate family will testify to that as well as my extended family. I
struggle SO much with fear, doubt and sin I would be way too embarrassed to
mention today. Lately, in the midst of all of my blessings, it's been easy
to take what God has given me for granted. In a way I can't explain, I
have been revisiting things I believe or don't believe in and trying them
against the Bible to see if they match up. It isn't always easy to obey.
I saw an example of this just last night. Raylen was playing with her
kitchen set and she suddenly dumped all of the play food out of the basket
it belongs in onto the floor. She left it there and moved on to play with
her stroller. Dinner was about ready so I asked her to pick up the food
and put it back in the basket. She went over and put a few things in and
returned to the stroller. Once again, and many times after, I continued to
ask her to put the food away. Each time the same thing happened. Finally,
I went to her, got on her level and told her to put the food away. She
knew by my tone that I meant business so she went to put up the food. She
sat on that floor for twenty minutes trying to put all the food away. She
wasn't sitting there because she didn't understand the task. She was not
sitting there because she couldn't do what she was asked. She sat there so
long because she just didn't want to submit to do it. She would stop and
pitch a fit and cry and have to be reminded to return to the task. She
would get mad and throw some of the food and would have to be reprimanded
for her angry actions. Finally at the end, Raylen put in the last plastic
French fry and looked up at me and said "I did it Mommy!". It isn't always
easy to obey. Not for Raylen and not for me. We both fail at it most of
the time. But the love that God shows me while I am disobeying calls me
back time and again and makes me want to try harder.

This Thursday, I am scheduled to be in court all day to see if the birth
mother shows for a summons and try to get her to sign the paper work. It
is unlikely that she will show, but we are praying that she doesn't anyway.
If she does show, please pray that I will have the words in my mouth to say
to her so that she will sign the paperwork. We don't feel nervous, but
rather anticipation. These are exciting times for us and we so appreciate
you holding us up during it.

Adoption Journey Journal X

Hello everyone,

Just wanted to keep you up to date on what's going on with the adoption.

We have several dates coming up shortly so please keep us in your prayers.
The first is 10/23 when we will have our first home study with the social
worker. Thankfully when I spoke to her I was calmed because she sounds
very sweet and we bonded as much as you can over the phone. She sent us a
packet full of DETAILED questions about ourselves that we have to answer.
It's pretty invasive. The second meeting is on 10/30 and is also a home
study with the ad lidem for Raylen that is a must for the adoption. The
third is a court date on 11/02. I have to attend a hearing that is between
Ronalda (Raylen's aunt) and Mary (Raylen's birth mom). The hearing is
regarding child support that Ronalda filed for when she had Raylen to show
the court that Mary was not financially supporting Raylen. The hearing was
set by the court for 11/02 and our attorney wants me to attend to see if
Mary shows up to get her to sign the papers. We don't think that she will
show up, but if she does, I will have the relinquishment on hand for her to
sign if she will. You can obviously see what are prayer requests would be
for this.

Things are "heating up" and we are prayerful that we will have a "Christmas
baby" this year. All our own and with our name. We are dealing with
things pretty good and trying to stay positive throughout everything. It
is difficult falling in love with a little girl that in the back of your
mind you have the possibility that she could be taken away from you. But
at the same time, we can't help but fall in love with her. She is the
biggest blessing we have ever received and we can't imagine life without
her.

I will continue to let you know how things are going. Thank you for all
your continued prayers.