What's DNA got to do with it

I had to take our M&M baby to get a DNA test done last week.  The test in and of itself was fairly easy, but it got me thinking about a lot of things.  I came to the conclusion that there are more important things than DNA in many areas of life.

For instance, I recall all of the MANY years of struggling with infertility and childlessness and the many well-meaning friends and family who would try to persuade us to try something new to solve our fertility issues.  We of course heard the normal IVF ideas, but acupuncture, surrogacy and even visiting the statue of a fertility goddess were all mentioned for us to try.  My favorite so-called solution suggestion came from an OB nurse I knew from teaching her daughter in preschool.  She suggested that my still fertile mother and my husband mix DNA in a test tube and then I carry the offspring of my husband and mother.  That way, she said, the child would still have my DNA.  Wouldn't I be carrying my sibling/step-child???

No, we heard early on from the Lord that none of these paths were for us to follow and He even had us steer clear of some more easy and accepted paths.  When we would carefully explain our position to questioning loved ones, we often heard the response that didn't we want a child that looked like us, had our DNA?

At breakfast this morning, I sat across my very lively eight year old daughter.  Even though I didn't meet her until she was almost two, so much life has happened to and between us that I don't remember her not being mine.  I have no knowledge of what it feels like to have a person growing inside of you and yet, it feels like I have a memory of her being there.  It is the weirdest thing.  Looking at her across the table this morning, I had to physically make myself remember that she doesn't share my DNA.  It was confusing for me.

I often hear the same language we heard from our loved ones coming from those grappling with adoption.  They say they want to see what their offspring would look like and they want to know their child is "theirs".  These words confuse me just the same as I was this morning.  I have learned first hand that DNA isn't the end all be all.  No, DNA is the mud that God uses to make up these bodies that carry the very soul and breath that He gives each of us.  The Bible says He made us in His image so don't we carry His DNA in the marrow of our souls? 

Right now, there are people who make claims on children they've never met and can't care for simply because they share DNA.  In the meantime, there are those of us who bathe and feed, sing and pray over, tickle and rock, kiss and hold those same little lives and pour our own hearts into them, all without a drop of matching DNA.  Which deposit is making more of a mark on their hearts and lives?

I have strong DNA.  I look very much like both my mom and my dad.  My little brother is a spitting image of my dad at his age and we often comment on that.  We were excited to see that my other brother bears a strong resemblance to our great grandfather after finding old black and white photos from the turn of the century.  These are things to celebrate.  We love our parents and our family and are grateful to bear resemblance.  But, what we cherish more is the legacy they have left and the life they pour into us whether we look like them or not. 

These are just my thoughts.  Thoughts that come tumbling out as we navigate through this road with M&M.  We love her.  We love her sister.  We couldn't imagine loving them more.  I'm so glad that we didn't do any of the crazy or not-so-crazy things to force ourselves to get pregnant.  If we had, we would've missed out on the biggest blessings we never created.  :)