Taken For Granted

Have you ever thought about the things you take for granted in your life? I thought about some of those things today. I live my life everyday doing much the same things each one of those days and most of the time I barely give a nod to the bigger-than-me miracles that are the wallpaper of my life.

For instance, since today is voting day, I realized how often I forget what a privilege it is to be free. It's not really a right. Someone set me free, both in nationality and spiritually. But I go in and out of my world, demanding my way in parking lots and customer service calls and the like ignoring the fact that I can speak out loud at all.

Then, I realized how much I take for granted that my daughter is mine-no one is going to take her away from me or lay claim to her. Only five years out from the best day of my life when a judge declared her ours, I barely remember the the time when I held my breath round the clock day in and out praying with all I was to have her be mine forever.

And finally, I realized today how much I take the tangible presence of Holy Spirit for granted. Sitting in a court room today, overcome with anxiety that I thought would swallow me, I called out to Him pleading to feel Him there with me, to know that I wasn't alone. At that moment I looked up at the American and Texas flags that flanked the judge's bench. On the top perched two golden eagles. I was immediately reminded about the eagle's story my dear friend Mindy had shared with me many times. Eagles, Mindy says, aren't like any other creature in nature. When a storm comes, instead of turning for shelter away from it, the eagle will go toward the storm, pressing through the storm clouds until the winds lift their wings high above the clouds where they can soar.  They use the storm to their benefit to get to the high place and then watch it from above, relaxing in their natural flight.  Those golden eagles on the flag poles were Holy Spirit's sign He was with me, giving me strength to press above the storm and soar in His peace.  How do I ever take such a gift for granted?

I don't want to take the power of prayer for granted either.  Prayer changes things, this I believe with my whole heart.  Over and over in the Word, God instructs us to pray and petition Him for the things on our heart.  He is not a Father who doesn't hear or care and just like the "petition" of my children, wanting something, we are to plead with Him, bringing our requests to Him regularly.  If you would join us in these petitions, here are the things we are pleading before the Lord right now:

• The He would permanently establish our M&M baby in this family.
• That He would give us His peace and sustain us through this roller coaster of emotions we face each day.
• That He would use this time to grow us in His likeness, teaching us how to give Him glory and praise in all things.
• That He would work miraculously in the hearts and minds of birth families, judges, attorneys and case workers that are involved in this case to do His will for the glory of His name.
• That our M&M baby would be consecrated to Him all the days of her life, no matter which home she grows in and that she would love Him and live her life for His glory.
• That our precious Raylen would be guarded and protected from the emotional ups and downs as we navigate this road.

Thank you for partnering with us.  We are grateful for you and don't take for granted the support and friendship that we are covered in during this time.

A New Adventure

Does anyone blog anymore?  I'm not sure, but as my mother pointed out to me, writing is therapeutic and sometimes you just have to get your thoughts out of your head.  I haven't written a post on this blog in some time.  A lot of life has happened and some of it has been pretty hard.  I guess I really didn't want to see it in print.  Now we find ourselves in an exciting/challenging/scary adventure and I lose myself most days in the "what ifs" alone in my head.  Hopefully, putting out my thoughts, whether they're read or not, will prove to be my therapy.

Our current adventure is a similar one that we've been on before, but oh so different.  We are currently fostering (hoping to adopt!) a beautiful, one month old baby girl.  Our journey with her goes back to April, when we first felt the nudging from the Lord to go the foster to adopt route.  Licensed at the end of June, we had a few placement calls that were nearly ours, leaving our hearts raw and tender.  Then, in mid September, our call came.  Only three days old, our M&M baby was delivered to our doorstep tiny and precious.  Instantly in love, she has captured all of our hearts.

Initially we were told that her case would be an easy one to move into adoption.  We were thrilled after waiting so long to adopt again and from the long and hard work of adopting Raylen six years ago.  As the days have gone on, we have found that the word easy isn't in the vocabulary anymore.  While one birth parent is not suitable to care for her, the presumed other birth parent is vowing to fight for her. Believe it or not, there is yet another person involved wanting her, all without knowing anything about her.

It's a very hard thing to describe, the feeling that other people want to take your child.  While I know that legally she isn't ours yet, we are the ones up with her every two hours, the ones seeing her first smile, the ones worrying about her every sneeze or fever.  She is ours in every practical sense of the word and our hearts are bonded.  She is a mommy's girl already, not wanting to be put down and really just wanting me to hold her.  When you spend every moment of your day with that kind of love in your arms, it is a lightning bolt to your heart when someone says they want to take that from you.

There are positives right now.  Nothing can be decided for a year.  She is with us for at least a year while anyone seeking custody proves themselves.  Even after that year, we will have so much standing with her that we will have as much or more right to her as a biological parent.  In the thick of it though, it's hard to remember the positives.

For a long time now, I've been asking the Lord to increase my faith in Him.  Several people at different times have prayed over me and asked the Lord to deepen my dependance to Him.  I am learning now that He is doing that, it just doesn't look like the computer style download to my brain I was thinking it would.  I have to walk this journey out day by day in complete faith in Him, standing firm on His word. Loving anyone isn't easy.  There are ups and downs and in all truth, none of us are guaranteed that we have another day with the ones we love.  Fostering is no different.

If you would like, we would be so grateful for your prayers during this journey with M&M baby.  Here are some pressing things to pray for now:

• We have a hearing on November 7th.  We will possibly meet the other parties involved.  Please pray for favor with the judge and for grace in our hearts toward the other family members.
• Please pray for JOY in our home.  From the top down, this can bring weariness in all our hearts.  Please pray against that.