PB & J

I used to have a friend that liked to describe herself at the time as PB & J. It stood for Pre-Baby and Joyful. At the time, I was definately pre-baby, but I wasn't joyful at all. I was organizing our photo cd's today and came across one that included pics from this particular time in our lives. When I saw these pictures, I remembered that there was joy when we were pre-baby and I wished I had recognized it then. Maybe this is what Paul means when he says he's "....learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." (Philippians 4:12)

Anyway, the story to these pictures is that we had been hearing a lot of noise in our attic. This would come to be the norm in our old house, but at the time, we were new to what sounded like bowling balls rolling back and forth the length of our attic. One night, we were awakened at 2 o'clock in the morning to a high pitched cry that sounded like a newborn in the hallway. Scooby (our dog) was sniffing and growling at the air conditioner closet. Jason carefully opened it up and saw a baby racoon trapped between the air conditioner and some spare filters. He got his leather gloves on, I hid behind the bedroom door (!) and with a small squirrel cage in hand, he lifted the racoon out of the closet and into the cage in a Spiderman-like maneuver. Before doing this, we had called animal control and realized that they weren't going to do anything until mid morning, so needing some sleep we took matters into our own hands. But that didn't seem so smart when we realized we didn't know what to do with him once we got him in the cage.

We finally decided to drive the scared and hissing little thing down to the creek nearby and let him go, hoping he would find another racoon family to join. We had to literally drop him out of the cage because he was so scared. Once out, he wouldn't move and when we started to drive off, we knew we just couldn't leave him out there all alone. Jason used his Spiderman skills again and put the racoon back in the cage and drove home. We decided to leave him in the cage on the front porch until we could arrange for a rescue team to come get him. I threw in a tortilla for him which met with more hissing.

When we woke up later, we checked to see how our little friend had faired through the night. We found the tortilla, not eaten, and the cage door bent back and empty. Apparently, the little guy's family had done some Spiderman moves of their own to rescue him. We never heard another peep out of the racoons while we lived there.

An Overdue Visit With the Logans

Yesterday I had the great opportunity to meet up with a special friend of mine from college. We met in the freshman dorm at HSU and then roomed together a year later in Hunter Hall. We were the best of friends and she was my Maid of Honor and I was her Matron of Honor. Believe it or not, life has just gotten in the way and I haven't seen her in almost six years! I have never met her children and she hasn't met Raylen.

That all changed last night! We met up at Chili's and had a great time catching up and remembering the good ol' days. We are vowing NOT to drift apart again!

Here are some priceless pics of the kiddos.....

Carter, Raylen and a very unhappy Alex

Alex and Raylen

This picture cracks me up!

What's required

God talks to me in the strangest places.

Here I am, sitting on the side of my tub, shaving my legs quickly so I can wear capris to church tonight. I don't know why, but I was thinking about a book I read a couple of weeks ago called The Same Kind of Different As Me, by Ron Taylor and Denver Moore. It's a must read and a great tale that is based for the majority in Fort Worth. The story is about two men who are opposites in race, status, upbringing, etc that end up being best friends through the call of a special woman in their lives. One of the men is homeless on the streets of Fort Worth at the time the two meet and the journey that this obstical leads them both on is both compelling and inspiring.

Curious about more information on the authors, I searched the website dedicated to the book. Under the FAQ's page, I found that a number of people were curious to know if Oprah knew about the book and if so, why hasn't she approached them about sharing their story on her show. Mr. Taylor answered that he can only assume that Oprah does know about the book as more than 500 people have told him that they have either written her about it or sent it to her personally. He said that he had not been approached by her about it as of yet.

So, I thought about that concept while I was shaving and the thought led me here: The running theme throughout the book is Christ and how He teaches us and pushes us beyond ourselves to see others in need. The main author is a very wealthy man and at the height of that wealth, felt the call to serve humbly in a homeless shelter. That's just the start though and what he finds is that when you pour out your life to others, you find who you were truly created to be. My take on it is that although Oprah is committed to the "Big Give" and creating a "New Earth", she has the wrong motives. And I am sure that the reason she is not jumping at the chance to tell her millions about this book is because it shows that conservative, right-wing, evangelicals can and are stepping up to do normally left-wing charity like taking care of our neighbors. For too long, we have become comfortable with taking care of "our own", but it is time to step up and practice what God calls "pure and genuine religion" in James 1:27. He speaks of widows and orphans here, but I am sure the word orphan can extend to those without a home as well. I personally am committed to the cause of adoption, not just for my home, but the cause as a whole. What would politics and the world look like if we, the called of Christ, stood up and did what He has commanded us? Love Him above everything and love our neighbor as ourselves. We would shock this country and the world and the tide would turn and we would not be dependant on Oprah any longer to tell the stories to inspire the nation, but the love of Christ Himself radiated through us would reach this nation without a word.

Pray with me and ask God what He requires of us. This is the time...like Esther, we were born for such a time as this.

Here is an interview with the writers of this book on Life Today with James Robinson.
Interview

Out of the mouth of babes

I went to pay the balance on a ticket I received a while back for my inspection being out. Truth be told, my license was expired too and my registration was also out. Things were very tight at the time all were due so they just went over looked for a time. I was able to get the license and registration waived for a small fee, but the court wouldn't allow the inspection to be waived and I had to pay a large amount to clear it, which I set a 30 day pay arrangement. That was March 4th. So today, I went to pay it instead of on the 4th because I don't get off early enough from work most days. The all too cheerful about her job employee informed me that they would have to add $25 to the already high total because I was two days late. I'm not gonna lie. That made me mad.

I got in the car after paying it, and called Jason to vent. He completely agrees with me how ridiculous it is that we are charged all of these fees when the reason we got the ticket in the first place is because we didn't have the money for the tags, etc. Then he tells me that he got a ticket this morning for speeding in a school zone that he's sure he wasn't. Upon hearing that, I was irate. My anger was compounded because this is the second ticket within a month that he's gotten. By the end of the phonecall I was livid and shortly after, my anger turned to tears. I cried out loud "Why can't we catch just one break? We're doing our best!" I became aware again that I wasn't alone when I heard a little voice call to me, "Mommy, are you alright?" Yes, I said. She then probed further asking, "Are you not feeling good? Do you need to go to the hospital?" (She thinks you always go to the hospital for anything) "No, Ray, I'm fine. I'm just a little sad right now." I told her. She quickly responded, "Don't worry Mommy, your daddy's gonna make it all better."

Now, in our house, we talk about my dad and how he's in Heaven and that we can't see him right now, but we will see him another day, quite a bit. To be honest, I was a little annoyed at her at first, because I know that she knows better than to think that my dad can help me. I was also emotional at what she said because that was exactly who my dad was-someone who made everything better for everybody. In a matter of seconds, the Holy Spirit spoke to me that Raylen was right. No, my earthly dad who has died and gone to Heaven cannot help me, but my Father who created me, loves me and holds me in His hand, is going to make everything "all better" in His timing. Again, God chose to use the small, sweet and caring voice of my 3 year old to teach me to trust Him more.

She's like the wind

I haven't posted many pictures of our beauty lately, but today we went to the pond and fed the ducks and took some photos in this wonderful weather. We are doing better with discipline (our part) and listening/obeying (Raylen's part) which allows us to actually enjoy each other's company. Raylen makes me laugh and inspires me at the same time-she is a true free spirit, going wherever the wind may take her. My roommate in college used to say "Be the wind!" and I have gotten in the habit of saying that to Raylen when I want her to hurry. But, truly, she has taken it to heart, not in speed, but in taking in life and all it's joys. Raylen was ecstatic over seeing two turtles swimming and finding a duck egg on the shore. I didn't get pictures of those, but they are forever in my memory.

She was looking at a ladybug in this shot

Raylen and her friend Ella

They are a little more than a year apart and are growing closer each day.

This is my favorite photo of them by far.

And of course, the ducks. They will actually come to you when called like puppies.

The Truth Hurts Sometimes

Last night, I met with a dear friend from our amazing church (can you tell I love it?). We actually knew each other as children and have reconnected as adults. We were able to sit and have a Starbuck's beverage and gab about all the happenings in our life. I welcomed the girl time with open arms.

We got on a topic that our family is currently struggling quite a bit with-one that is taxing emotionally and leaving both Jason and I feeling very discouraged. It's so emotional to me that I won't label it by name here, but it is one that I am sure most couples experience. My friend was very good about sharing her advice with me, but also very forthright in telling me the wrong choices I had made in this situation. Although she has talked frank to me before, I have to admit that her words stung me at first.

Since our discussion, I have thought a great deal about the level of commitment it takes to be a friend who tells you like it is. For those of you who know me well, you know that I will do almost anything to avoid uncomfortable circumstances with people. I don't like ANYONE to be mad at me and although I can and have put on brave faces in the midst of conflict, I always go home and cry about things and internalize every word. I have become accustomed as well to existing in circles where people intentionally don't tell you the truth, but do say the truth about you behind your back. I can't tell you how surprised I was to learn only a few years ago that alot of people in the world talk honestly to each other without sugar coating things or worrying about how to spare the other person's feelings.

So, to be told the flat out truth about something so emotional for me, stung me because it is not my nature to hear the truth. But, as I am growing and maturing, I am choosing to look past my insecurities that tell me to run for the hills when I hear a negative word spoken in my direction and rather take the truth that is shared with love and use it to spur me on to better results. Thanks, A, for continuing to challenge me to be better than I am today.

Now, don't everyone send in their comments of "truth" all at once! I am still learning this discipline and would still appreciate some finesse!

Looking back, planted here, moving forward

I was online for a bit today and stumbled upon a site where I could watch full episodes of a teenage drama I was addicted to when I was in high school. Although it was "teenage", looking back I am sure it was too mature for me at the time and it encouraged all of the "looking for love in all the wrong faces" adventures I acted out in my head. I was completely innocent, but my daydreams of finding true love at 15 left me feeling hopeless and melancholy at a time I should have been carefree. But, I digress.

So, I spent a little time watching a favorite episode of the series and immediately I was sent back in time almost 15 years. Smells, feelings, even temperatures felt as real to me as actually being in that moment. I couldn't help but remember how I felt about life at that time. Putting all the melodrama that I inflicted on myself aside, I felt safe, secure, loved and invincible. I know it's selfish, but today, for just a brief moment, I would have given anything to be back there. Surely, you must know how that feels too. Not that life is so terrible now. I have great things to be so grateful for, and I am! But, life protected by parents you trust, with plenty to eat, no bills to pay and the hardest decision you have to make is what to wear, sounds pretty tempting to me sometimes.

Then later, I started preparing my usual Thursday night, boring Hamburger Helper, because I'm not a cook at all, and I started to make a list of things I still need to do tonight. One of those things is to hang up and put away Raylen's folded laundry. She was asleep when I did it, so it sits in a basket awaiting my return. It occured to me when I found myself looking forward to putting it away, that life isn't so bad in the here and now. And more than that, I get to be the one to protect and be trusted, give plenty to eat and worry about bills so she doesn't have to. It's my job and my privelage to take care of the "stuff" in life so that she can worry about what princess dress she is going to wear next. And my greatest hope and joy in life would be to see her grow to a place where she can visit the past with fond memories and remember a blissful existance and then snap out of it in time to take care of the stuff of life for her own little pretend princess.