A quick update

Just a quick update on the situation with baby Amanda. We have not heard anything in almost a week, but since my last post, I did talk to the case worker again to see if she had talked to the birth mother yet. She had not and was in the process of transferring all of the case information over to a new case worker. I was frustrated at the thought of a new case worker coming into the situation and my frustration was compounded when the current worker wouldn't give me the name and/or phone number for the new worker. I asked some "hypothetical" questions concerning the case and she wouldn't tell me much about that either. I was so frustrated with the situation and told myself to again "let it go". Jason and I talked a lot about it this weekend and just like our time before Raylen, he is not of the nature (as I am) to rehash things over and over and analyze them. He said that if it happens it happens. He is right, I know. My hopes are not up, but my heart is heavy and can't shake the incomplete feeling. Incomplete in the fact that nothing is settled and we are still up in the air. So many of you have left comments or emailed encouragement and heavy hearts for the situation and each time it remotivates me to pray. Thank you.

Whatever happens, we are praying protection, blessings and a firm future in Christ for Amanda. I hope that you will continue to pray with us.....

An Update

In an earlier post, I wrote about Raylen's biological half sister that is in CPS custody. We have not had any contact with anyone concerning the case up till now. We have continued to keep her on our hearts, but have refrained from telling Raylen about the situation. A week or so ago, we had even decided to just "let it go" in our hearts and that day, Raylen came to me out of the blue and begged me to come help her sister who was crying. I had no idea what she was talking about because she doesn't know anything about the situation or know about the word sister in reference to herself at all. She was in panic, and I thinking that she was talking about her baby doll or something, asked her to show me where her sister was. She couldn't tell me and said she didn't know, but that she could hear her crying and that I needed to help her. I was floored. I assured her that I would help her and she calmed down immediately, said okay and went off to play. That was enough motivation for me to keep praying.

Last night, I had a missed call while I was in church from a number I didn't know. This morning, I felt led to call the CPS case worker for an update and when I went to dial the number I realized it matched the one I missed from the night before. In talking with the worker, I found that she is still pushing for the birth mother to place the baby with us. She feels it is the right thing to do to keep the girls together. She said it was no guarrantee, but if the parental rights were terminated, she wanted the girls to be together. She told us some of the stories that the birth mother has been saying about us that aren't true-I'm sure an effort to hold on to her parental rights.

At this moment, the worker is trying to contact the mother again to talk her into letting us keep the baby. Please pray concerning this. We are open and our home is open, but we want the best for Raylen and the baby and God's will in this situation. I will keep you posted.

Emma Turns Four!

On Saturday, we spent the evening with our friends and their little girl Emma who celebrated the big 4! She loves all things cowboy so she had a western themed party this year. Emma and Raylen have adoption in common, among other things and we are looking forward to the girls being friends for life. Here are some good memories from the day.

PB & J

I used to have a friend that liked to describe herself at the time as PB & J. It stood for Pre-Baby and Joyful. At the time, I was definately pre-baby, but I wasn't joyful at all. I was organizing our photo cd's today and came across one that included pics from this particular time in our lives. When I saw these pictures, I remembered that there was joy when we were pre-baby and I wished I had recognized it then. Maybe this is what Paul means when he says he's "....learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." (Philippians 4:12)

Anyway, the story to these pictures is that we had been hearing a lot of noise in our attic. This would come to be the norm in our old house, but at the time, we were new to what sounded like bowling balls rolling back and forth the length of our attic. One night, we were awakened at 2 o'clock in the morning to a high pitched cry that sounded like a newborn in the hallway. Scooby (our dog) was sniffing and growling at the air conditioner closet. Jason carefully opened it up and saw a baby racoon trapped between the air conditioner and some spare filters. He got his leather gloves on, I hid behind the bedroom door (!) and with a small squirrel cage in hand, he lifted the racoon out of the closet and into the cage in a Spiderman-like maneuver. Before doing this, we had called animal control and realized that they weren't going to do anything until mid morning, so needing some sleep we took matters into our own hands. But that didn't seem so smart when we realized we didn't know what to do with him once we got him in the cage.

We finally decided to drive the scared and hissing little thing down to the creek nearby and let him go, hoping he would find another racoon family to join. We had to literally drop him out of the cage because he was so scared. Once out, he wouldn't move and when we started to drive off, we knew we just couldn't leave him out there all alone. Jason used his Spiderman skills again and put the racoon back in the cage and drove home. We decided to leave him in the cage on the front porch until we could arrange for a rescue team to come get him. I threw in a tortilla for him which met with more hissing.

When we woke up later, we checked to see how our little friend had faired through the night. We found the tortilla, not eaten, and the cage door bent back and empty. Apparently, the little guy's family had done some Spiderman moves of their own to rescue him. We never heard another peep out of the racoons while we lived there.

An Overdue Visit With the Logans

Yesterday I had the great opportunity to meet up with a special friend of mine from college. We met in the freshman dorm at HSU and then roomed together a year later in Hunter Hall. We were the best of friends and she was my Maid of Honor and I was her Matron of Honor. Believe it or not, life has just gotten in the way and I haven't seen her in almost six years! I have never met her children and she hasn't met Raylen.

That all changed last night! We met up at Chili's and had a great time catching up and remembering the good ol' days. We are vowing NOT to drift apart again!

Here are some priceless pics of the kiddos.....

Carter, Raylen and a very unhappy Alex

Alex and Raylen

This picture cracks me up!

What's required

God talks to me in the strangest places.

Here I am, sitting on the side of my tub, shaving my legs quickly so I can wear capris to church tonight. I don't know why, but I was thinking about a book I read a couple of weeks ago called The Same Kind of Different As Me, by Ron Taylor and Denver Moore. It's a must read and a great tale that is based for the majority in Fort Worth. The story is about two men who are opposites in race, status, upbringing, etc that end up being best friends through the call of a special woman in their lives. One of the men is homeless on the streets of Fort Worth at the time the two meet and the journey that this obstical leads them both on is both compelling and inspiring.

Curious about more information on the authors, I searched the website dedicated to the book. Under the FAQ's page, I found that a number of people were curious to know if Oprah knew about the book and if so, why hasn't she approached them about sharing their story on her show. Mr. Taylor answered that he can only assume that Oprah does know about the book as more than 500 people have told him that they have either written her about it or sent it to her personally. He said that he had not been approached by her about it as of yet.

So, I thought about that concept while I was shaving and the thought led me here: The running theme throughout the book is Christ and how He teaches us and pushes us beyond ourselves to see others in need. The main author is a very wealthy man and at the height of that wealth, felt the call to serve humbly in a homeless shelter. That's just the start though and what he finds is that when you pour out your life to others, you find who you were truly created to be. My take on it is that although Oprah is committed to the "Big Give" and creating a "New Earth", she has the wrong motives. And I am sure that the reason she is not jumping at the chance to tell her millions about this book is because it shows that conservative, right-wing, evangelicals can and are stepping up to do normally left-wing charity like taking care of our neighbors. For too long, we have become comfortable with taking care of "our own", but it is time to step up and practice what God calls "pure and genuine religion" in James 1:27. He speaks of widows and orphans here, but I am sure the word orphan can extend to those without a home as well. I personally am committed to the cause of adoption, not just for my home, but the cause as a whole. What would politics and the world look like if we, the called of Christ, stood up and did what He has commanded us? Love Him above everything and love our neighbor as ourselves. We would shock this country and the world and the tide would turn and we would not be dependant on Oprah any longer to tell the stories to inspire the nation, but the love of Christ Himself radiated through us would reach this nation without a word.

Pray with me and ask God what He requires of us. This is the time...like Esther, we were born for such a time as this.

Here is an interview with the writers of this book on Life Today with James Robinson.
Interview

Out of the mouth of babes

I went to pay the balance on a ticket I received a while back for my inspection being out. Truth be told, my license was expired too and my registration was also out. Things were very tight at the time all were due so they just went over looked for a time. I was able to get the license and registration waived for a small fee, but the court wouldn't allow the inspection to be waived and I had to pay a large amount to clear it, which I set a 30 day pay arrangement. That was March 4th. So today, I went to pay it instead of on the 4th because I don't get off early enough from work most days. The all too cheerful about her job employee informed me that they would have to add $25 to the already high total because I was two days late. I'm not gonna lie. That made me mad.

I got in the car after paying it, and called Jason to vent. He completely agrees with me how ridiculous it is that we are charged all of these fees when the reason we got the ticket in the first place is because we didn't have the money for the tags, etc. Then he tells me that he got a ticket this morning for speeding in a school zone that he's sure he wasn't. Upon hearing that, I was irate. My anger was compounded because this is the second ticket within a month that he's gotten. By the end of the phonecall I was livid and shortly after, my anger turned to tears. I cried out loud "Why can't we catch just one break? We're doing our best!" I became aware again that I wasn't alone when I heard a little voice call to me, "Mommy, are you alright?" Yes, I said. She then probed further asking, "Are you not feeling good? Do you need to go to the hospital?" (She thinks you always go to the hospital for anything) "No, Ray, I'm fine. I'm just a little sad right now." I told her. She quickly responded, "Don't worry Mommy, your daddy's gonna make it all better."

Now, in our house, we talk about my dad and how he's in Heaven and that we can't see him right now, but we will see him another day, quite a bit. To be honest, I was a little annoyed at her at first, because I know that she knows better than to think that my dad can help me. I was also emotional at what she said because that was exactly who my dad was-someone who made everything better for everybody. In a matter of seconds, the Holy Spirit spoke to me that Raylen was right. No, my earthly dad who has died and gone to Heaven cannot help me, but my Father who created me, loves me and holds me in His hand, is going to make everything "all better" in His timing. Again, God chose to use the small, sweet and caring voice of my 3 year old to teach me to trust Him more.