Adoption Journey Journal V

This is probably my most joyous of emails yet...and one I know most of you
have been waiting desperately for.

Yes, I did get to meet with the birth mother on Saturday and it went great!
I met her at noon at a local McDonald's and when she walked in I knew
instantly that it was her. We greeted, both with big smiles and sat down
to talk. She told me that her friend was coming in that drove her so I
waited a minute before jumping in because I wanted to make sure of what I
was dealing with the friend. The mom immediately dove in telling me about
all she was trying to do to get her life back on track and how she had
wanted to see her daughter but she wasn't allowed to. (This I know is
untrue, but I just let her talk) At first I felt defeated because she
sounded like she wanted the baby back, but then I literally felt a kick in
the lower portion of my back which caused my mouth to open and then words
just came pouring out.

I told her all about ourselves and how we wanted a family and what we would
like to give "her" daughter. I talked about our faith and hopes for
college for her and about wanting to live in the country and traveling the
country for vacations. She teared up many times at the thought of these
things and said that this was what she wanted for her daughter. I told her
that there was no judgement on our part towards her, but that we knew she
wasn't in a position to give her these things. I told her that the best
part about this option was she being able to be apart of the baby's life
throughout the years. I told her we would send pictures and letters and if
she wanted to see her, she could call and we would set up a time depending
on the situation. She was thrilled at that. The lady that was with her
loved the idea and kept telling her that this was the right thing to do.
At the end of the visit, I asked her if this was something that she would
be willing to do and she said yes, but that she wanted a couple of days to
think about it. I told her I absolutely understood and to take her time
except that we should move fairly quickly on this because CPS could come
and have her adopted and she would never be able to see her again. When we
stood up and after I shook the other lady's hand, I held her hand and her
arm and told her I was so glad to have met her. She grabbed me and hugged
me and with tears in her eyes told me that she was so glad to have met me
too.

I left there on cloud nine! Not because she was probably going to do this,
but because I knew a miracle had happened there. Many miracles in fact.
How amazing was it that I had the strength to go in the first place and
then amazing above everything else was that I felt actual love for this
woman. No judgement. Just love. Only God does that, believe me. I know
my heart and how it works. I could have easily have judged her and would
have if not for God working through me.

Well, guess what. The miracles don't end there. At 7:30pm that night, I
got a call from Raylen's aunt who said she had just checked her mail and
there was a letter in there from the birth dad. He had written one to her
and one to us. They both said that he would sign the adoption papers!!!!
Can you believe that??? Amazing! God is answering our prayers and making
our path straight. He has laid out this road for us and we are happy to
walk it by faith. When I was on the phone with the aunt, I asked her,
"Have you ever seen such a miracle?" and she said, "I thought when my
children were born that would be the last time I saw God move, but I was
wrong because this is a miracle!" Jason and I were overwhelmed with
emotion upon hearing that.

On Friday night before all of this happened, some dear friends gathered
with us to pray corporately for the meeting with the birth mother and for
the things going on right now. It was a wonderful and emotional time of
prayer, but also thanksgiving for all that God is doing in our lives. In
my prayers that night and every night I am reminded of what God has already
done for me well before this time with Raylen. In fact, I learned and
understood a long time ago through the Jewish teachings my Mom used to do
in Vacation Bible School, that God has already done enough for me. I'll
explain. When the modern day Passover meal is celebrated, there is a part
at the end where the guests sing an upbeat song while literally pounding on
the table called "Dayenu" The word means "It would have been enough". The
song's stanzas say "If He would have just brought us out of
Egypt...Dayenu..." and goes on to list all the things that God has done for
the children of Israel and for us each ending with "Dayenu"...It would have
been enough. But the miracle is that He continued to do more and more and
still does. So I know and I say with you, that if He would have just sent
His Son to die for us and raised Him from the grave so we could live with
Him for Eternity, Dayenu...it would have been enough. But He didn't stop
there for me...or for you. I thank Him for all the gifts He has given
me...salvation, my husband, my family, my friends, my pets, health,
prosperity, education, nationality, freedom, and now for this precious
baby. It reminds me of yet another song that we sing in church that fills
my heart now:

Amazing Love how can it be?
That You my King would die for me
Amazing Love I know it's true!
It's my joy to honour You
In all I do I honour You

I hope that each of you know and see with your eyes the value of your
prayers! God is doing miracles today in our life and I know He is also
about doing them in your life as well! We don't want this "Mountain Top
Experience" to end when the papers are signed and we go on about life.This is what God intends life to be! To see Him at work daily and to join
Him in that work. Please also let us know where we can join you in prayer
so that we can see God do great things for you as He has done for us. We
are filled with deep love for each of you for walking this journey with us.
Please keep praying....